


seeing stars

by angelcakkes



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Fluff, M/M, Strangers to Lovers, renjun is emotionally constipated, student!renjun, trainee in the making!jeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 04:06:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14324211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelcakkes/pseuds/angelcakkes
Summary: Jeno kisses like the world is ending. Fiercely, passionately, and like he’s running out of time. He leaves Renjun burning at the seams; crumbling and falling apart.





	seeing stars

**Author's Note:**

> This was a wip I wrote during we young era... and then forgot to touch after that. But! Here it is! I don't know where this came from and honestly, this is just a little fic off a random collection of thoughts and opinions I have in regards to idol production and young trainees... but halfway through I got kind of sad writing it so I turned it into a fluffy fic with more focus on noren than on the dark stuff. 
> 
> Title is inspired by the Borns song of the same name. You can listen to it [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2GOGwB4QYU). This song is one of my absolute favourites! It doesn't have much to do with the fic but I thought of it while listening to this song so, yeah! 
> 
> Read on!

Summer in Seoul is unbearable. The air is thick with humidity, and the pollution traps heat like a glass dome encasing the city. The fan at the corner of Renjun’s room whirs on, blowing more hot air than cold, and he feels stickier than ever. He shoots out of his chair, leaving his room and heading towards the kitchen for a refresher. He finds a half-empty can of soda in the fridge, figuring his younger brother must’ve been saving it for later, he shrugs and downs it. The cool, sugary drink sits icy in his stomach, and Renjun sighs in satisfaction.

His mother shuffles into the kitchen from the back garden, nodding at Renjun in acknowledge. Her skin is pink and raw from being out in the sun all day, and her finger are earthy and green. She sets down a basket of beets on the table, drawing a cutting knife out from her apron, she hacks the leaves off. “You should go outside dear, it’s lovely out.”

Renjun takes one look at the scorching heat outside the confinements of his house, and frowns at her. He can’t tell if she’s being serious or sardonic. Without replying, he tosses the empty can in the bin and heads back up to his room.

Sheets of calculus and formulae fly off his desk and float onto the floor. Renjun sighs, throwing a dirty look towards the fan, and moves to collapse onto his bed, not bothering to pick the papers up. He sighs, for numerous times already today that he hasn’t been bothered to count. Picking up his phone, he absently scrolls through his social medias, unamused with every post, he finds himself staring at a looped video of _cake baking_ for fifteen minutes.

The strum of guitar strings sounds through his open window, and Renjun perks up. After a few tweaks and random notes, a soft tune begins to play, and Renjun hums at the harmonious sound filtering through the searing and whirring of summer. It falters for a moment, then starts again with a delightful, satisfying, strum. Intrigued, Renjun makes his way to the window to hear better. Sticking his head out, he looks across to the opposite house, window open just like his, white drapes swaying in the breeze until they part just enough for his eyes to fall upon a boy playing the guitar. Dark locks and milky skin, strong hands and long fingers gently plucking away at the strings and eliciting soft, euphonious music. Renjun loses himself. The heat no longer a nuisance, and despite the sun burning the side of his face, he doesn’t push his head back inside.

The music stops. Renjun frowns and opens his eyes, only to meet the alarmed face of the boy across. Face flushing red, he pulls the curtains shut and jumps back, burying his face into his cushion.

-

There’s a knock on the door, and from upstairs, Renjun yells for Chenle to open it. Grumbles and thumping footsteps later, he hears the door swing open and – after that he stops paying attention. Until –

“Renjun! It’s for you!”

He frowns, huffing as he shuts his book. It was getting to the good bit too. Slumping down the stairs, Renjun wonders if it’s Jaemin at the door, knowing his best friend’s tendencies to show up uninvited and play all his games. Frankly, Renjun only has games to entertain Jaemin – he’s never been to fond of them himself.

He stops at the bottom of the stairs, blinking at the boy waiting for him. It’s the guitar boy from yesterday, and sadly enough, there are no curtains to hide the raging blush that creeps up from Renjun’s neck. Up close, the boy is breathtaking. His face is like it’s been sculpted by _Myron_ himself, piercing obsidian pools that capture Renjun in a strong gaze – then they become crescent moons, as his face splits into a smile, and Renjun is breathless.

“Hi.”

Renjun makes a muffled grunt in return, and he’s sure by now he looks like his mum’s traditional, brightly red _qipao_.

“I’m Jeno.” The boy – Jeno – continues, thankfully ignoring Renjun’s rude reply.

“I’m Renjun.” He says, clearing his throat and steadying himself against the rails as Jeno smiles harder, making his knees wobble. _Lethal._

“I’m your neighbour.”

“I know.” Damn. Renjun needs to get a muzzle to avoid further rude remarks.

Jeno doesn’t seem taken back, rubbing his nape and chuckling instead. “I suppose you would huh? Seeing as you were staring at me yesterday.” Jeno smirks, cocking his brow, and Renjun wants to punch his face. He also wants to punch his own face, for turning beet-red at the comment.

“Why are you here?” He asks instead, because there’s no way he could actually harm Jeno’s beautiful face, no matter how irritatingly, tantalizingly, gorgeous it was. _Myron_ would be displeased.

“I can’t visit my neighbour of a decade, who I barely saw and thought didn’t know I existed until yesterday?” Jeno takes a step inside. Renjun takes a step back up the stairs. “Your mum asked me to come over, when she brought over carrot-cake in the morning. Said you needed some friends.”

“I have friends.”

“Yeah. Yeah you do. I’ve seen them screaming on your front lawn.” So, Donghyuck. “Well, maybe the last part was said by _my_ mum about _me_ – that I need more friends since my one friend is away in Canada for the summer. But, I didn’t want to look lame in front of my cute neighbour.”

Oh. _Oh._

Jeno awkwardly fiddles with his shirt, the tips of his ears giving away the embarrassment he hides by looking down at his feet. Renjun chuckles, stepping down the stairs and closer to Jeno.

“Okay. I’ll be your friend.”

Jeno perks up, and the smile he gives leaves Renjun blind, and winded.

-

The sunlight shies away behind leaves as they sit under a large tree, silently sipping on half-melted slushies; strawberry for Renjun, lime for Jeno. They’d taken a quick walk down to the park, stopping by the convenience store for refreshments, exchanging light conversation on an otherwise peaceful walk.

Between slurps and small talk, Renjun learns that Jeno’s a drop-out. Initially, he freezes to cast Jeno a shocked look, quickly overcoming it when Jeno explains that it was his own decision, and supported by his parents. Apparently, school just wasn’t for him. Renjun can’t imagine that, although he hates school just as much, it’s what keeps him grounded.

“It’s why I never see you.” Renjun points out.

“No, that’s because I went to a different school altogether.”

Right. Makes sense.

“And the guitar? Who taught you how to play?” Renjun asks, bringing his knees to his chest to rest his cheek.

“Self-taught. Mark – my friend – and I both dabbled around and –“ he shrugs in explanation, slurping on more slushie.

“That’s so cool! You play really well!”

Jeno looks at Renjun and beams. “Thanks. That means a lot.”

The rest of the afternoon is spent on the playset. Renjun swings with the wind and Jeno sits by the side and watches him. Despite it being their first, proper meeting, beside Jeno, Renjun feels relaxed. He welcomes the comfortable silence Jeno brings – a break from the constant noise his friends do. Renjun appreciates the excitement and enthusiasm Donghyuck and Jaemin constantly radiate, but Jeno creates a balance, and he needed that. In the sweltering heat, Jeno’s quiet company is cool and calming.

Jeno walks him back home – albeit, he lives right next door – and promises to drop by again. Renjun nods and retreats into his home, stealing some ice cream from Chenle before he bounds upstairs.

-

Renjun sees Jeno again, a few days later, on his doorstep with a guitar lugged over his shoulder. He wordlessly invites him in, leading him to his room.

“I want to play for you.” Jeno says as he carefully takes a seat on Renjun’s well-made bed. He pats the creases on the sheets away.

Renjun swings his chair around to take a seat, facing Jeno and leaning in eagerly. “Okay.”

Jeno wriggles his fingers before positioning the guitar comfortably on his legs. On the count of three, he begins playing. The room fills with the soothing vibrations, harmonious melody, producing from Jeno’s fingertips meeting strung nylon. Renjun closes his eyes, allowing himself to fall away with the tune, numbing his senses and sending his heart thrumming. Jeno plays beautifully.

The music stops too soon, and Jeno looks up shyly to judge Renjun’s reaction. The blinding smile he’s met with reveal that Renjun enjoyed it, and euphorically, Jeno returns the expression.

“You play wonderfully. I can’t believe _that_ is self-taught.” Renjun says with a smile. Jeno averts his eyes and continues to smile timidly.

“Well, I do have a lot of time to practice.” He looks back at Renjun, eyes wavering and mouth gaping slightly with uncertainty. He clears his throat. “Do you think I’m good enough to be a musician?” The confusion that flashes across Renjun’s face for a split second pushes him to elaborate. “I want to be an idol. Music is my passion. I took a few dance lessons whilst we could still afford it, but I really want to perform on stage.” He looks away, rubbing his nape.

Renjun gapes at him, lost for words on how to carry on from Jeno’s sudden confession. He blinks. “Of course! I think you’re great! Why the – why the doubtful look?”

Jeno jolts like he’s been pinched, cheeks blooming. “Well, I don’t know. No one other than Mark supports me, I guess. He’s my best friend, so that’s kind of his duty. My mum thinks it’s a hopeless dream and I’m wasting my time. And, my dad, well, he doesn’t really care.” He pauses for a breath, eye briefly flickering to Renjun’s face, then away again. “But when I caught you staring the other day, you seemed, I don’t know – I just thought I could ask for an outsider’s opinion.”

The way Jeno’s voice grows small and quiet has Renjun’s heart hurting. He moves to take a seat beside him on the bed, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Well, for what it’s worth, I believe you can do it.”

Personally, Renjun agrees with Jeno’s mother. It’s a hopeless dream that – according to the internet – ends in mental health issues and body dysmorphia. The journey to become an idol is long and gruelling. Relentless hours spent practicing and crying, only to be rewarded by lights that burn your retinas, cameras that capture you as someone you’re not, and a confining environment where your every move is watched and judged; it’s not worth it. Renjun doesn’t think Jeno’s beautiful smile that reaches his eyes should wither in such a way.

But, one look at that very smile, forming due to the simple compliment that easily tumbled from Renjun’s lips, has him thinking that he can’t say anything to crush Jeno’s dream. So, he buries his worries, and the probing question of _why he cares for Jeno anyways,_ and smiles.

“When are you auditioning?”

“Oh.” Jeno looks guilty. “Auditions are over. I missed the deadline.”

Renjun frowns. “Now what?”

“Well…”

-

“Lots of people get street-casted!” Jeno tries to justify as Renjun sighs with exasperation for the millionth time that day.

They’re at Jeno’s house, in his bathroom, with bowls of toner and squeezy bottles of bleach lying around the tiled floor. Renjun, clad in boxers and a borrowed t-shirt that’s been clipped at the neck with a hairpin to prevent it from slipping off anymore, brushes on the first coat of bleach onto Jeno’s dark hair strands and roots. If he had known that he’d be spending his Saturday bleaching Jeno’s hair platinum blonde, he wouldn’t have opened the damn door.

It’s a particularly pleasant day. The scalding weather has toned down, and the wind is just cool enough to satiate the otherwise sticky weather. The perfect climate for a day out in the park.

“And you’re sure this will work for you?” Renjun says with exasperation as he goes over Jeno’s hair once more. Jeno nods firmly.

“I mean, my face should be enough, but I think this hair will surely tip them off.” Jeno smirks up at Renjun through the mirror, and Renjun looks away, kneeing Jeno’s back for good measure. The boy winces in dull pain. Renjun smiles.

He isn’t wrong, Renjun thinks, but, he’s not going to tell Jeno that.

“I think,” Renjun starts, chewing his lip and judging the back of Jeno’s head. “we should’ve gone to a professional.”

Jeno shakes his head, “no way. I don’t have that kind of money, and my mum would _kill me.”_

“Your mum is _still_ going to kill you, once she sees this.”

Jeno chooses to just shrug to that.

With the final coat done, Jeno’s hair is spiked up and has him resembling a mad scientist – without the wrinkles and glasses and brain. Renjun giggles at the horrific sight. Even Jeno can’t look his usually dashing self with his hair like that. How Jeno had convinced him into doing this is beyond him, but as Renjun whips out his phone and snaps a picture, prompting Jeno to whip around and tickle him to the floor (gently), Renjun thinks he wouldn’t have it any other way.

It takes hours for Jeno’s hair to be bleached, and even then, a second coat is needed before Renjun can start toning. The time is spent with Jeno, on the stool, aimlessly playing the guitar while Renjun, likewise, sits in the bathtub and hums along. After some egging, Jeno manages to annoy Renjun into singing, and when he does, Jeno’s awestruck.

“You should join with me!” He says, eyes twinkling. Renjun chokes on air. “We’d be like a duo. You sing while I play! Like _Akdong Musician_ , except we’re not siblings, and thank god because I don’t want us to be siblings…” Jeno mumbles the last part, and it doesn’t make a difference because Renjun’s stopped listening after Jeno said they could be a duo. He’s hung up, high-strung, over how naïve Jeno sounded, and how his heart aches over the known fact that it’s impossible. The manufacturing of idols and processing of trainees just doesn’t work in favour of dreamers.

“I don’t think that sort of life is for me, Jeno.” He’s not lying. It isn’t. “Besides, that’s your dream, not mine.”

Jeno turns around on the stool to fully face Renjun, staring him down. Renjun feels bare. He gulps. “So, what is your dream?”

Renjun takes a breath, “well, I haven’t really sorted that out yet. But considering my skills and what I’m interested in, art is a prospective path.”

“Like Da Vinci?”

“Yeah. Sort of.”

Jeno marvels at him, like he’s never heard anything like it before. Then he straightens his face, gently smiling to say, “I think you’d be a wonderful artist.”

Renjun scoffs, “you’ve never seen me paint before.”

“Then, you should show me.” Jeno swivels back around, poking at the spikes that’ve gone rigid. He spares a glance at Renjun from the corner of his eye, through the mirror, and their gazes meet. “Even if you don’t,” He murmurs, “I still believe in you.”

Renjun swallows thickly, heart suddenly racing in his chest.

Jeno sticks his head in the sink and rinses the bleach off. Renjun helps him towel his hair, before layering on the final coat of bleach for that striking, platinum finish.

“Thanks for doing this.” Jeno mumbles against Renjun’s chest, as the other carefully brushes up his roots. “I would’ve definitely messed it up.”

Renjun straightens to smile down at Jeno. “All good. I’m actually, weirdly, having fun.”

Jeno flashes him a dazzling smile that has Renjun weak at the knees, knocking together and causing him to falter for a second – his erratic heartbeat didn’t help the situation either. Renjun steps back, knees yet to regain strength, making him slip – until Jeno grabs him by the waist. Without a word, Jeno guides Renjun to his lap, propping him onto his thigh, and angles his head down for Renjun to continue with his hair.

Renjun, trying his best to not squirm, pushes down his heart as it clambers to his throat, and brushes more bleach onto Jeno’s hair.

-

Renjun really doesn’t know how he got into this position. That is, how he ended up on his back, pinned to Jeno’s bed, with said boy pressed against his body, kissing the life out of him. Jeno had called him over, as per usual, and one minute, they were devising a plan for Jeno to get scouted, and then next – _well –_

Renjun runs his fingers through Jeno’s blonde hair, dry strands rough against his skin, tugging slightly once his hand reaches the back. Jeno moans against his mouth, and the sound reverberates through his body, setting tiny fires through his veins. His mouth is sore, his lips are surely bruised by now, and he’s so breathless his chest _hurts._

Jeno caresses Renjun’s thigh before grabbing it, pulling him down and closer, wrapping the smaller boy’s pliant frame around his own, larger one, for better leverage as he ravishes Renjun’s mouth. He pulls away, panting, and Renjun gasps for air – chest heaving and mouth gulping for oxygen. He throws his head back and Jeno seizes the opportunity to attack Renjun’s throat, pressing open-mouth kisses down to his collarbones.

Breathlessly pushing himself off, Jeno gazes over Renjun’s appearance; dishevelled hair, glassy eyes, and plump, red, lips. Renjun starts to sit up, clearing his throat and reaching over to the bottle on the bedside table for a drink of water. Jeno lets out a breathy chuckle, fixing Renjun’s hair with his fingers. Renjun swats his hands away and pats his hair down. His cheeks are burning, and Jeno’s enjoying it too much for his liking.

“You were saying something about SM?” Renjun tries to revive their conversation before – _well_ –

Jeno shakes his head, mumbles something about new moments or _not now,_ and pushes Renjun back down onto the bed, making for his lips again.

Jeno kisses like the world is ending. Fiercely, passionately, and like he’s running out of time. He leaves Renjun burning at the seams; crumbling and falling apart.

-

“You’re going to die.” Renjun deadpans, shielding the sun from his eyes. He pulls his knees to his chest, bare legs away from the scolding pavement outside SM building. Jeno’s plan to get scouted involves skateboarding, while playing the guitar, in hopes to draw the attention of company agents. His hair is styled to showcase his sharp features – curtesy of Renjun – so that if his talent fails, his face will make up for it.

Renjun offers moral support in the form of kisses.

Their relationship progressed normally, with the addition of kissing and cuddling. Jeno is clingy, and if he’s not attached to Renjun’s hips and lips, then he’s yell-talking with him from across the window, or over the phone. Renjun can’t say he minds. In fact, he likes it. He likes Jeno.

Jeno loops his guitar around his shoulder and adjusts the strings before stepping onto the board. Renjun crosses his fingers that he doesn’t fall. Flashing him a thumbs-up, Jeno starts to roll around the block, strumming away the tune to a song Renjun’s heard on the radio but has never paid attention to.

For what feels like hours, Jeno zips up and down the street. Renjun’s neck automatically swerves left to right, as he watches.

Eventually, Jeno stops playing, stopping right in front of Renjun. His face is downcast, and the enthusiasm from the morning has long died.

_He hasn’t even been accepted as a trainee yet, and already…_

“I’m tired. Let’s go home?”

Renjun takes Jeno’s hand and hoists himself up, wrapping his arm around Jeno’s waist as they walk home.

“It’s just,” Jeno breaks the peaceful silence, “it feels like the universe is trying to tell me to just give up. My mum keeps saying I should stop wasting my time, and even Mark’s losing interest. He’s moving on with his life. Becoming a teacher or whatever.”

Renjun doesn’t know what to say. Technically, he’s been silently telling Jeno to give up as well. Perhaps not for the same reasons, but still, justified reasons. Jeno stops walking to tie his shoe, placing the board down on the footpath. It rolls down the street, but Renjun makes no move to fetch it.

“I believe in you. I don’t think you should give up.” Renjun takes a deep breath and swallows the burn in his heart.

Jeno looks up, eyes blown wide, before he breaks into a smile. Renjun squints at the light. Jeno stands up and kisses Renjun on the cheek, wrapping his arms around the other’s thin waist. “That means a lot. Thank you.”

Renjun mirrors the smile and lets Jeno peck his lips before they start walking again. Mistakenly having confessed to not knowing how to ride a skateboard, Renjun groans as Jeno lifts him onto the board, holding him by the waist and rolling him down the street. He isn’t learning anything, but to have Jeno’s arms wound around him, lest he fall, Renjun doesn’t complain.

The rest of the day is spent lying in Renjun’s bed, kissing and cuddling, with Jeno’s guitar laying forgotten by the door.

-

Jeno says _I love you_ on a rainy Sunday morning, after he spent the night over at Renjun’s. It comes out like a spill, creating a mess of emotions in Renjun that frankly, he’s too sleepy to clean up. Without waiting for a reply, Jeno presses several more _I-love-you’s_ to Renjun’s cheeks and collarbones.

Renjun accepts it with a groggy hum, figuring he’ll deal with it later, when he’s more awake.

 

Later, at the counter, while they’re having breakfast Renjun’s mum left behind before she went to pick up Chenle from camp, Jeno says the three words again. It comes at a bad time because Renjun’s eating and now he has egg-yolk on his chin and everything is a mess, again.

Jeno thumbs the yolk off and grins. Renjun nods, when he says it again, and he hopes Jeno understands.

(Jeno does.)

Renjun’s not sure how Jeno can say the sacred phrase with such belief. They’ve only met a month ago, have been dating for even less, and, they’re only in high school. _I love you_ should be saved for the later years or when they’re married. So, Renjun kisses Jeno on the cheek, rinses his dish, and invites Jeno to join him on the couch for some mindless TV watching, that will, _definitely_ , turn into a session to see how much they can make-out before Renjun’s mum comes back.

(Enough to bruise lips, and garner squints from Chenle, it seems.)

-

Monday night, Renjun is wide awake, thinking about the fact that he still hasn’t told Jeno he likes him. To his defence, neither has Jeno, but he’s jumped to something greater.

Renjun climbs off the bed and crawls onto his chair by the window, curling up and looking across to the room opposite him. The light in Jeno’s room is on, and the curtains are drawn. Jeno’s shadow dances around the room, and Renjun giggles, because he knows he’s pretending to be on stage again.

Jeno stops moving, turning to the window and pulling the curtains apart. He smiles upon seeing Renjun and slides the glass open. Renjun does the same and waves. Jeno disappears from the window, rummages around his room, then reappears with a paper cup phone. Using all his force, Jeno throws one cup across to Renjun, and it hits the side of his window and hangs loosely in the air. Renjun didn’t even try to catch it – too staggered by what it even was. Jeno reels it back in and tries again; this time, Renjun catches it. He wonders, if Jeno’s just had this lying around, or if he made it long ago, in hopes of – no way. He shake the thought away in time for Jeno to bring the cup to his mouth.

“Hi.” Jeno’s voice travels across the taut wire and tickles Renjun’s ear.

“Hey.”

“Couldn’t sleep?”

Renjun shakes his head.

“Would you be able to sleep better if I was there with you?” Jeno teases.

“Probably.” Renjun replies placidly, and amusedly watches Jeno blink in surprise. He wasn’t expecting that answer. For a while, it’s just the sound of breathing, until Renjun softly murmurs, “what are you thinking about?”

“You.” Jeno says coolly.

“That’s weird, I’m thinking about you too.”

Jeno beams, and it rivals the light of the moon. “You know what they say; great minds think alike.”

Renjun hums, playfully tapping his chin. “Well I don’t see how that works; there’s only one great mind here.”

“Shit. You’re right, it’s me.” Jeno laughs loudly at his own, terrible humour, and Renjun has to shush him before he wakes anyone up. He rolls his eyes as Jeno’s laughter finally dies down.

“Why did I even think of coming to you? I’m going to bed.” Renjun throws his cup across, right into Jeno’s outstretched hand. Jeno blows a kiss, which Renjun pretends to flick it away, making Jeno dramatically stagger back, clutching his chest.

Giggling and shaking his head, Renjun settles into bed and falls asleep. The window remains open, moonlight filtering in and bathing him in its glow.

-

Jeno gets scouted two days before the start of Renjun’s senior year. He runs over to Renjun’s house with the news, spinning a confused Renjun around before finally explaining.

“I was out shopping, and this woman just came up to me and asked if I would be interested in joining SM, and she gave me her card, said she was an employee and that they'd love to have me there! I didn’t even get to say anything. I just stood there, shocked and nodding furiously!” Jeno blurts out, picking Renjun up and spinning him around again.

Renjun pulls him into the house, smiling as Jeno rambles on about his excitement, about his dreams getting closer, about what Mark will say, about what his mum will say.

“You haven’t told her yet?” Renjun interjects.

“No. You’re the first person I wanted to tell.”

Renjun’s breath catches in his throat. Jeno always thinks of him first. He sucks in a deep breath, and smiles. Renjun doesn’t tell him that he’s scared. He doesn’t tell him, that despite his happiness, he’s terrified of what may become of Jeno’s life, of how the dark and bleak environment isn’t suited to someone as bright as him. He doesn’t tell him that he’s scared Jeno’s light will die.

Instead, Renjun springs to his toes and kisses Jeno on the mouth, expressing the feelings he can’t vocalise through his lips; pride, fear, anxiety, _love_.

Jeno, ever so understanding, picks him up the waist and carries him upstairs.

-

[“She fell for your face then?”

“Well, it isn’t exactly ideal. But I’ll get to show them my talent when I get there, right?”

“Of course. I believe in you.”]

-

Jeno begins training as summer ebbs into autumn. It’s three weeks into Renjun’s school year, and much to his chagrin, the time he spent with Jeno has decreased greatly. From constant contact, now, Renjun tries to squeeze Jeno in between tutoring sessions and club activities, while Jeno spends long nights practicing and sunny days fast asleep to give Renjun his company.

It’s sad, but, this is exactly what Renjun expected.

It’s a rare afternoon in which Renjun took a day off from school to bid Jeno farewell. He’d be staying in the dorms from now on; meaning, when Renjun wakes up, restless and anxious in the dark hours of the night, Jeno won’t just be across the window to offer solace. When the stress of his final year takes its toll, Renjun won’t be able to camp out in Jeno’s room, in his arms, until his thoughts filled with Jeno only. During late-night study sessions and last-minute cramming, the familiar paper cup won’t bounce off his window, and Jeno’s voice will no longer tickle his ears and make him warm.

“I’m a phone call away.” Jeno says as Renjun fixes his hair and zips his thin jacket. “And, the dorms aren’t too far. A bus trip and I’ll be here, or you’ll be there.” He kisses Renjun’s crown lightly, and Renjun’s eyes flutter close, breathing deeply. It’s a wonder, how Jeno always manages to read his mind, despite the utter chaos that rages inside it, and how he always, _always,_ knows exactly what needs to be addressed, exactly what needs to be said.

Renjun buries his face into Jeno’s neck, the latter resting his head against him. Worry and fear claws and rips away at Renjun’s throat. Not for Jeno. No, he knows Jeno will succeed; he knows Jeno will make it. But, for himself.

Few years down and Jeno will eventually become a star, and he’ll be so out of reach, so far away, and Renjun will simply be here, cherishing and loving one so unattainable. He’ll have his own life to live, sure, but it won’t mean anything because he can’t share it with Jeno.

(And it’s funny, because just a while ago he was convincing himself that Jeno is just a boy and this love is just a passing stage in his life. Nothing too strong.)

“I’m not going anywhere, not without you.”

_Yes, yes you are._

“You’re always going to be with me.”

_No, no I’m not._

“I love you, and I always will.”

_For how long, until you realise I’m not worth it? Until you realise you simply, can’t?_

“You’re worth everything to me, and I won’t let anyone, or anything, tear us apart.”

Jeno utters the words loudly and with conviction, like he means them, and he wants the whole world to hear. Then, bending down to Renjun’s ear, he whispers, “I promise you.” And this time, he truly, speaks it to _his_ world.

Shivers run down Renjun’s spine and he slowly pulls away from Jeno’s embrace to look him in the eyes. Gaze flickering between Jeno’s dark orbs, a feeling rises, and something _sure_ settles on the tip of his tongue. It burns pleasantly and Renjun’s ready. He feels it.

“I –“ He stops, taking a deep breath, “I really like you, Jeno.” Renjun finally spills the humble words, but really, he feels more than what they mean.

Jeno kisses the tip of Renjun’s nose and pulls him back into his embrace. He understands, like always, and Renjun is ever grateful.

Wiping away the silver of stardust slithering down Renjun’s cheeks, Jeno smiles and cups his face, cradling him in his arms.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> CLARIFICATION because I don't know if I was clear enough but basically Renjun all this time was concerned about Jeno becoming a star when ALL ALONG Renjun had been the real star in Jeno's eyes; hence the "stardust"... but now I realize I was probably too vague... I apologise! 
> 
> That's all from me for now! I may come back with some stuff for my domestic!au just to stay in touch. Thanks for reading.
> 
> Please do leave kudos and comments! I highly appreciate them!  
> Talk to me on twt: [baeksonified](https://twitter.com/baeksonified)  
> Or: [cc](https://curiouscat.me/angelcakkes)
> 
> //EDIT: I realise I always make one of them leave in my fics... I promise I'll give them a completely happy ending in my next one! :)


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